Deeper Needs

Terri was always understanding and supportive of my desires to wear lingerie. Every morning as we dressed for work, we’d put on our pantyhose together. We’d wear each other’s things. There was one shared panty drawer. She was fine with me wearing lingerie while we had sex. We engaged in many fantasies involving me putting on women’s underwear.

An example was her as the clerk in a lingerie store helping me try on bras and panties in the fitting room. At first, she's a bit put off by having a man trying on the delicates, but she's trying to be professional. The fit of the panties wasn’t quite right, and she dutifully fellated me to get my erection to go down. All in the interest of a proper fit, you understand.

Still my need for humiliation involved fantasies such as getting caught trying on panties and being punished for the act by being forced to put on a bra and pantyhose and heels; then being butt-plugged and made to suck a dildo while being verbally degraded. It’s that whole shame thing. Terri was a good actress, but she was never going to be a dominatrix, even a soft one.

At the same time, her needs weren’t being met by a sissy who was a lousy fuck. Most of us are, after all. Let’s face it: while real men are focusing on the feel of pussy and making a woman feel good, we’re busy fantasizing about bras and panties and hose (oh my!). We can’t get it up if we’re not fantasizing or engaging in sissy behavior. That’s the plight of sissies.

So over time, she started to look elsewhere for real sex, and as I look back, I can’t blame her. She would be out late with some lame excuse while I was home dressing up and jacking off.

We had discussed the possibility of a three-way, and she was open to the possibility. I had confessed to her that I wanted to suck cock, and that didn’t bother her. I hadn’t told her that I had done it once before we met. What a wonderful memory that was.

In a crazy moment five years earlier, I picked up two women in a bar. I knew one of them was a very passable transvestite. I was pretty drunk. I invited them to my apartment, and we started having some fun. The TV was just beautiful with long, slender, pantyhose covered legs.

I showed them that I was wearing pantyhose and a bra. The TV and I started feeling each other up. The woman sat on the bed while I knelt in front of the TV. I felt up her legs and pantyhose and started to rub her crotch.

The woman said, "I think he wants what you have up there." She pulled down her pantyhose and panties and revealed a beautiful 8" cock. Now this was a dick any woman would enjoy pleasuring. I was delighted to hold it and stroke it, and in short order, I put it in my mouth. It was wonderful feeling it slide in and out of my mouth while hearing his feminine voice moan. Before long, I was sucking cock like a whore, my head bobbing up and down while I kept a good grip on the shaft stroking it. I was making shameless slurping noises. What a sissy cocksucker!! He didn't cum, but I wanted him to. I felt wonderfully feminine and submissive doing this as the woman looked on. She didn't really humiliate me, but she was encouraging and saying things like, "That's right, suck that big cock!"

I never sucked another real one, but ever since then I've enjoyed the sensation of my lips wrapped around a dildo and my tongue licking its head especially at the command of a dominant woman. Of course, it's also a lot safer than the real thing. There's just something absolutely overpowering about a woman holding a huge dildo between her legs ordering me to suck her cock for her amusement.

I can understand how women can sometimes achieve orgasm from giving head. At times I’ve worked myself into such a frenzy that I’ve gotten lost into a pseudo-orgasm of my own. Eating cum is particularly emasculating. It’s something I often find difficult to do on my own unless a woman is ordering to do it. Girls laughing at me while I'm licking it up makes it especially humiliating and erotic.

Oh... I’ve digressed, haven’t I? Like I said, Terri never knew about my cocksucking experience, and we never had that three-way. I couldn’t handle the fact that she was sleeping with another guy.

Today, I have cuckold fantasies. I wonder now what it would have been like if I could have stayed on as her sissy maid. Maybe she could have talked her lover into letting me suck his cock while she looked on. Then they could have ordered me into the corner to sit quietly while he fucked her good, they way she really needed it. He could show me how it's done. Then while I’d sit there in jaw-dropped awe while she screamed in ecstasy, at least I’d have the pleasure of knowing that the dick that was giving her such a noisy orgasm, I got hard for her with my own sissy mouth.

So Terri and I split up. It was mostly amicable, although we argued over some clothes. “No, those were my panties!”

Only a sissy boy would argue over a pair of panties.