Saturday, November 15, 2008

Nashville Part II

This visit to Nashville was just before Halloween. I planned to get as much out of it as I could by doing some sissy shopping in a town where I wasn't likely to be recognized. I went to some dancewear shops to look for some thong leotards and tights. I visited a couple stores and tried on and bought some sexy items.

Anna was going to have some more fun with me. The next night, she invited me along to dinner at a pub where members of this online swing group were going to meet. I wore regular clothes and was a little self-conscious because I was introduced as "Pantyboy," my online handle with this group. Some of them might have remembered my bio that stated that I liked to wear sissy girl things and French Maid uniforms and be humiliated with a strapon, but nobody really said anything about it.

At one point, Anna got everyone's attention and announced that everyone was invited to my hotel room to watch me put on girlie clothes, get spanked while wearing a butt-plug and have to eat my cum. She basically described the whole scene from the evening before in front of everyone at the table. I was red faced and humiliated, especially with men hearing the sordid details. Nobody took her up on the offer, and I felt a little like a little freak.

There was one particularly hot woman there with her husband. They were swingers. She was dressed in an sexy tight dress with black pantyhose and no panties that I could tell. I had been eying her. She did say, "Sorry we have other plans. It might be fun. Maybe I'd have you suck off Jim (her husband). Anna chimed in with, "Oh, he'd love that!" Nothing came of the evening other than I had been humiliated in front of group of about 25 men and women.

The next day I did some more sissy shopping. A lot of times, I'll call ahead and ask if it's OK for me to try on feminine clothing. I also use the call to set up a sense of embarrassment ahead of time. I told the clerk on the phone at this one store that my girlfriend was making me dress up as a girl for Halloween. I could tell she thought that was amusing. She said I was welcome to come in and try on dresses. I arrived carrying a bag with bra, pantyhose, a girdle brief, and high heels. I told the girl I was supposed to make sure it all fit right. She and the other clerk thought it was really funny that I was going to wear everything. I told her that my girlfiend had made me try on the bra and panties at Frederick's. They were laughing at the stories I told her.

They helped me pick out a couple dresses and put me in a room in a closed-off section of the fitting area, so I had the whole side to myself. After I put on all my underthings, I tried on the first dress. They were asking me through the door how things were going, and after I had it on, they told me to come out and show them. "You look great!" she said with a big smile, and she called the other clerk over to see me. I was acting very embarrassed having to wear a bra, girdle, hose and heels. I was walking awkwardly in my heels. I got a lot of giggles as I tried to adjust this very short, tight dress so that the panty line of my pantyhose didn't show.

After trying on two other dresses, with their help I decided on a grey and red houndstooth dress that was obscenely short. Both of them were having fun with me by then, and one said, "You'll have to be careful not to let boys see your panties." They both laughed. I made a comment that my girlfriend had me wearing panties a number of times. The other said, "Better be careful you don't get used to it. This could become a regular habit!" Inquisitively I asked, "You mean if I wear panties too often?" She replied, "Yep, you could start liking it." I said, "Well, I have to say they do feel very nice." They giggled as they rang me up. I thanked them as I left, and they were laughing and saying, "Have fun!"

Thursday, August 7, 2008


Get ready, bitch

I had met a lady online named Anna. She was a little older than me and lived in a Nashville, which is about five hours from where I live. She was part of a group that did a little swinging, and while she had encountered other sissies online, she'd never really met any in person, and she was a little intrigued by it. We talked on the phone a couple times, and I told her some of the things I did. She thought it was pretty funny and she wanted to meet me so I made plans to visit.

Once I checked into a hotel and got acquainted with Anna for awhile, I checked into local adult entertainment in the phone book. I've utilized the services of escort girls to come to my room and engage in some sissy humiliation sessions with me before, and we thought it might be fun if I had one come over to do a session with Anna present to just watch. I called one of the services and told them I was a crossdresser looking for some light domination. A woman named Kathy called me back and I told her I had a female friend who just wanted to watch while she dominated me. We agreed on a price, and she headed over.

I showed Anna some of my sissy outfits and modeled some of them while she giggled at me and called me a "sissy cunt" in her sweet southern voice. I was dressed in my bra, pantyhose and high heels when Kathy knocked on the door. I covered myself and let her in. Kathy was very pretty and very nice and professional. We worked out some financial issues, I explained exactly what it was I wanted, and she called in to the service to check in.

Kathy was wearing a skirt with pantyhose and no panties as I requested. I was behind her peeking up her skirt, and Anna was sitting in the corner, giggling, calling me a naughty boy. About that time, Kathy hung up the phone and turned around, catching me. "What the hell are you doing? Get up! What are you doing in these clothes?" I was still smiling, looking over at Anna and her giggling."

She got serious

Kathy grabbed my face and pointed it at hers. She was quite serious. "I asked you, what - are - you - doing - in - these - clothes?" Her voice was stern but she didn't yell.

I was like a little boy caught being naughty. "I... just... wanted... to see what... they felt like?"

Now she lowered her voice in a more intense kind of quiet, almost a whisper. "Oh you did? You wanted to feel what it was like to be a girl? Is that it? You want to be a girl?"

"No, I just wanted to feel the clothes..." I tried to explain.

She quickly grabbed me hard by the wrist. "I'll give you something to feel, little girl. C'mere"

She marched me over to the bed, sat down, quickly yanked my pantyhose down, and pulled me over her lap. Then she started smacking my bottom... HARD!

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!

"Owwww!" I tried to put my hand over my bottom.

She quietly and sternly commanded, "Put your hand down."

She started it up again. Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! She would alternate from cheek to cheek.

"Please!" I whined, "I promise to be good!" I again tried to cover my bottom."

"I said put your hand down. Now!"

Again and again we went through this. Anna later told me she couldn't believe how red my bottom had become. I'd never been spanked this hard.

Change of clothes

"Now get up!" she said quickly, "Get those clothes off! Now!" Again, she never yelled, but it was clear she was in charge. I took off my heels, pantyhose, and bra. I was rubbing my bottom with both hands. She again grabbed me by the wrist and marched me across the room.

"You wanna be a fuckin' girl? Let's make you into a fuckin' girl and you can really see what it feels like."

I protested that I had learned my lesson and I didn't want to do it. Kathy told me to shut up while she put a black padded bra and thong panty on me. Next came a black, boned waist cincher with garter. Then she had me sit on the edge of the bed while she put black stockings on my legs. The whole time she was telling me what a hot girl I'd make and how I evidently like wearing girls clothes or I wouldn't have such a hardon. I tried to deny it, whimpering like a pussy boy.

Finally she put my 5" stiletto patent leather pumps on me and had me stand. I stood and covered my bra with crossed arms like a woman would if she had been suddenly discovered undressed. This infuriated Kathy, "Put your hands down! You wanna be a girl. Let's see you be a fuckin' girl. Walk around for us, bitch. " I minced and teetered around the room.

Kathy looked over at Anna. "What do you think? Do you think he likes being a girl?"

Anna came back with a wicked smile, "He's a sissy cunt!"

"He IS a sissy cunt!" Kathy answered. "Now I'm going to spank you again."

"Nooooo!" I whined.

Round two

Again, Kathy grabbed me by the wrist like a child and pulled me across the room, sat down and put me back across her lap. I was already smarting from the first assault on my red ass, and I didn't think I could tolerate much more. Before she even started, I was trying to cover my bottom. She repeatedly ordered me to put my hands down as she started over and over. It only made it worse. Kathy spanked and spanked harder than the first time. It hurt like hell.

I looked over helplessly at Anna, "Please help me. Make her stop!"

Anna, snapped back, "Shut up, you fuckin' bitch!"

And now, your mouth

Kathy grabbed my 10" dildo with balls and held it in front of me. "Now you can see what's it like to suck cock."

"No! I won't!" I pouted.

Kathy answered, "You want me to spank you again?"

I looked over at Anna and reluctantly put my hand on the dick and started licking it. Anna just started laughing, "I don't believe this! You are a fuckin' sissy cocksucker!"

Kathy pushed my head on the dildo and had me bobbing up and down on it as she degraded me. She had me lick the balls and lick up and down the shaft. I was stroking myself as I did. "You really like that, dontcha bitch?" I just quietly sucked the big cock while Anna laughed.

And now, your sissy ass

With that, Kathy took the butt plug laying on the bed and started squirting it with KY jelly and told me to turn over on the bed.

"Oh, please don't do this. I'm really sorry. Please! I won't do it anymore!" I pleaded with her.

Anna jumped in, "He wishes he was a real woman so he could take a real dick inside him."

"I do not!" I answered back like a baby brother. Kathy again told me calmly to turn over as she held the greased up plug in her hand. I begged her not to fuck my pussy.

I continued to beg Kathy as she turned me over. I was now facing Anna who had a menacing smile on her face, and I was now being overcome with humiliation. Anna was going to get to see the look on my face as I was going to get ass fucked. As Kathy slathered the plug up and down my crack with cold KY, I got a disgusted look on my face. Anna laughed and asked in her cute southern voice, "Are ya gettin' your pussy buttered up, hun'? I just let out a disgusted moan.

With that Kathy just jabbed the plug up my ass. She was not at all gentle, and it HURT like hell! I protested, and she told me to be quiet while she jabbed me again. I tried to reposition, and Anna asked me if I was getting my cherry popped. Finally Kathy got it in me and started stroking it in me quickly. She got me up on all fours so I could continue wanking with the dildo in my mouth. Anna just laughed, "I do NOT believe this!"

They were talking to each other and calling me a sissy cunt. I wimpered like one while Anna just laughed. She'd never seen such a display and was truly enjoying the show. By this time, Kathy had called Anna over and was standing next to us. At one point, she was given the dildo to push in and out of my mouth. I think she rather enjoyed the control of fucking a man in the mouth with a big cock and humiliating him in this way.

A little cuckold, just for good measure

At one point, I was wanking and looking at Kathy's pussy through her pantyhose, a view I particularly love. She stared at me back and said, "Look at it!" Then she pulled her pantyhose down. "Go ahead! Look at it! Wank your little dick and look at it! You will NEVER fuck it because I don't fuck sissy boys."

Anna chimed in and said, "He wouldn't be able to do much with what he's got anyway!"

Kathy contined her comments to me, "Yeah, but get a good look at it and wank your little dick, sissy cunt! Sissy cunt! Sissy cunt!"

By now they both kept calling me "sissy cunt" over and over again in unison. It was very belittling and humiliating.

It wasn't too long before I had gotten so worked up that I was about to lose it. "I need to cum," I whined. Kathy sassed back, "Awww, she needs to cum." She took the dildo and held it in front of me. "You know what you have to do then, don't you? You have to cum on this big cock and then you have to lick it clean for us."

"NO!" I whined back like a sissy.

"Then you don't cum. It's as simple as that. You want to cum, you have to cum on the dildo and lick it clean for us, you understand? Are you going to lick it up for us or not? It's your choice. You can cum or not cum, but that's the only way you're going to cum. Don't stop stroking it, sissy cunt! Girls have to eat cum, and you want to be a girl, so you have to eat cum!

Anna was laughing and coaxing me, "Come on, sissy cunt. Shoot your little dick and lick it up."

Kathy was holding the dildo out in front of me. The butt plug was burning in my sore pussy bottom. I couldn't hold it out any longer. I screamed out like a little bitch as I bounced up and down on the butt plug.

Anna reacted, "Oh my god, will you listen to this? He even cums like a girl."

I came and screamed and came and whimpered and came some more. I shot all my sissy cum all over the big hard rubber dick being held out in front of me.

"Did you get it all out, sissy cunt?" Kathy asked.

"Yes," I whined.

She quickly put the dick in my mouth. "Clean it up! Now!"

Anna was laughing again, "Look at this! What a fuckin' cum eating bitch!"

You missed some

I dutifully licked it all up and sucked the dildo clean. I wanted to be a good girl for them and show them I could do it. I slurped the length of it and sucked it completely. By the time I had finished licking it clean that aversion to eating cum started to sink in combined with the shame and humiliation. I looked at Anna who pointed to a big glob of cum on the sheets and said, "You missed some." I let out a moan of disgust. She laughed hysterically as I starting licking it up off the sheets.

Kathy said to me in a motherly tone, "Mama's proud of you 'cause you ate all the cum. You did a good job like good girl." Then her tone of voice changed back into more of a warning, "But every time you put those clothes on, you're gonna get fucked in the ass, and you're gonna have to eat the cum again. You understand, Sissy?"

I nodded in total shame.

Kathy was getting dressed and told me what fun the session was. Anna said she'd never seen anything like this, but she'd learned a few things.

So had I.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Thanks for Enduring the Last Post

For those of you who read it, thanks for enduring the last post. It was very long. I had no idea how long it really was until I posted it, and I couldn't figure out how to break it into parts.

I promise to keep my next couple posts to be much shorter.

Coming soon...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

My Trip To Florida Part II

I had a couple days before I was to visit the club and see Kelly. They were many mini-humiliation events I may come back to later. But this is about the club experience. I apologize for the length of this writing, but this was pretty intense.

When I finally got back to Ft. Lauderdale, it was a little late in the evening. I had mapped the address to the club. I didn't want to get there too early. I was also a bit shy about showing up in my sissy attire a club like this, even though I figured it would be friendly to someone like me. I started to get ready for the night. I put on a padded bra and black shiny tights. Over it, I wore the thong leotard I bought at the dancewear store where I met Kelly a few days earlier. It was burgundy, with a cowl neck and long sleeves. My come-fuck-me pumps with a 5" heel made me look like a complete sissy slut.

I put on a bit of make-up and lipstick. But that was it. No wig. I don't want to pass as a girl. Just the sissy slut boi that I am. Not knowing what I would be able to do at the club, I packed a little bag with my favorite 10" dildo with a suction base, a butt-plug and lube.

It was getting pretty late when I finally got to heading for the club, and I reasoned that a place like this would only be getting started fairly late anyway. I put a jogging outfit on over the outfit and more comfortable shoes so I could leave the hotel without making a scene. Once in the car, I took off the jogging suit and put on the heels and drove in slut mode to the club.

It was located on the edge of a industrial park complex in a somewhat scary area, so I was cautious. When I arrived, the parking lot didn't seem to have many cars parked there. I double-checked the address. There was a small sign at the door so I knew I was at the right place. Nervously checking around, I got out of my car, locked it and headed for the door. It's always makes me feel so sexy and vulnerable when I'm outside wearing an outfit like this.

There was a buzzer at the front door, and my heart was racing as I rang it. I figured I could always jump out of my heels and run in my stockinged feet if I had to. There at the door was a heavy-set woman, obviously a dominatrix, wearing a black leather bustier and a black skirt. She was smiling and happy to see me.

"Hello, come in!" She was looking me up and down as I stood timidly in front of her.

"I'm Mikel. I met Kelly at the dance store the other day?"

"Oh yes! She told me about you! I'm Mistress Jackie. Nice to see you, Mikel. There's no cover charge for boys in drag. Kelly said you'd be in your leotard and tights. Very nice. Very cute."

I was mincing around in front of her feeling very self-conscious as she was clearly checking out my ass. I felt like a girl being ogled. I held my little bag in front of my tight crotch.

"And what have you here?"

"Well," I explained, "I've never been to a club like this, only to a private Domme, and I brought some things with me."

"And what kinds of things have you done with your Domme?" she asked.

She was being very nice as we chatted, and we were alone in the foyer of what looked like a former office. I moved closer to make a confession, "Well, I've been made to suck on her big strapon... and she'll fuck my mouth with it... and she puts a butt-plug in my pussy-bottom... and she gives me some very sound spankings--of course the butt plug always helps make the spankings so much more effective... and then she makes me wank my... little... wee-wee... and has me squirt it on the dildo?... and then I have to lick it clean like it's a real man's cock. It's so humiliating and disgusting, but she says it's good practice."

As I explained the details of my humiliating scene to Mistress, I became more and more sissified, and she could tell by my mannerisms. She nodded and affirmed her understanding of each of the details of it. Then she explained that because this is a public club they could not do anything anal and they could not have any masturbation on the premises. She said I could get a spanking and get my mouth fucked and get the humiliation. "If you're good, I may give you permission to go home and cum onto your dildo and lick it clean, OK?"

"Yes, Ma'am," I answered timidly.

About this time, Kelly came into the room as bubbly as ever. "Hello!

"Kelly, you remember Mikel?"

"Yes! Hello Mikel!" She gave me a light hug. "I was afraid you weren't going to make it. I'm so glad you came! Come on, I'll show you around the club."

Kelly chatted with me a little and took me through the door into what was a mostly empty club. There was another Domme talking to a man. There were a number of other people just talking to each other, but nothing was really going on. I felt a bit self-conscious because I was the only sissy. There were no guys in drag. But nobody really paid attention. Kelly explained that not all that much happens on Friday nights and they were going to close pretty soon. I was glad I got there when I did.

The room had mirrors all along one wall. There was a small stage where scenes were acted out. Toward the back, it got much darker. There was an area that had a cage with bars and rings in the wall. At the very back of the room was a caged contraption almost like a coffin where a man was totally confined. Kelly explained that he's into complete restriction, and that he'd been there all night and would remain there. The other domme went back to check on him.

I chatted with Kelly about what she did there. I wondered if she got into any of the scenes. She just seemed so sweet as to be out of place here. This was just a part time job for her. She just acted as a hostess. She helped with drinks and cleaning up and entertained a little. She was just so innocent.

When we got back to the foyer, Kelly said she'd leave me with Mistress Jackie and to let her know if I needed anything to drink or anything. Mistress explained the tribute system for the club, and we worked that out.

Mistress Kelly pointed to my little bag. "You have your butt plug with you?"

"Yes ma'am" I answered.

"Come over here..." She took me to a little corner. "Put it in, right here, where only I can see... Do that right now..."

I took the plug out of the bag and lubed it up with KY. It was very awkward because I had to pull down my tights enough to slide the thong strap of my leotard aside and then insert the plug. I squatted down and plugged myself in a dark corner while she hovered over me with her hands on her hips smirking at me. I got even more sissified and pathetic, whimpering and saying "Oh my... oh my... oh!" as I pulled up the tights and repositioned the thong strap over the butt plug. I gasped as I stood up. Mistress just laughed as I wiggled and minced on my heels.

She told me to go back into the club and have a seat. I went back to the outer area. The other domme who never introduced herself stopped me on the way and said, "What's your scene?"

I didn't quite understand at first because she said it in a very businesslike manner. I figured she was going to set something up for Mistress Jackie. "Uh... dildo cocksucking, spanking, and sissy humiliation," I replied.

She pointed to a bench. "Sit over there."

I sat quietly holding my little bag and my plug now starting to cause my pussy-bottom to throb. I didn't know if I should get out my dildo. I didn't want to be sucking a strange dildo anyway. Then she walked by several times as if looking for something. I said, "If you're looking for a dildo, I have one..." She got close to my face and said, "If I need your help, bitch, I'll ask for it. Now sit there and shut up."

My eyes dropped to the floor and I sat there like a chastised little girl for what seemed like an eternity. Then suddenly, I heard the heavy steps of high heels on the floor. I looked up and saw Mistress Jackie marching her way toward me wearing a strapon dildo with a giant black rubber cock. "Shit!" I said aloud before she got there.

I sat up prim and proper, stealing scared glances at the giant black cock hanging in front of me. I crossed my arms in front my bosom and nervously tried to shield my eyes from the obscene phallus.

"Have you been a bad girl?" She asked quietly.

I nodded in quick, small, frightened nods, looking down.

"What have you done? she quickly demanded.

I wasn't prepared for a confession. I was going to make up some naughty fantasy of sucking off the boys in the neighborhood when I caught sight of beautiful, innocent Kelly talking to some of the others in the club. My mind went back to when I first met her in the dance shop and I was in the fitting room trying on girlie thong leotards and prissing in front of the mirror and listening to her talk to the shop clerk.

"Well? What have you done? Mistress demanded in a more stern voice.

"Well..." I started out slowly, "the other day when I met Kelly? When she came in the dance shop, I was trying on leotards and prissing in the fitting room... and she was talking to the clerk... and I was listening to her sweet, bubbly voice... and I was playing with myself..."

Mistress' eyes widened, "Oh... you... DID... did you?!" She pointed to the floor in front of me and commanded in a quiet, determined voice, "Kneel." I wasted no time. I had the feeling it would have been better if I had just made up a fantasy confession and left it at that.

"You have fucked up, missy!" She held out a condom in a package. "Do you know what this is?" I nodded. "Do you know what this is for?" I nodded. "Open your mouth." I obeyed. She held the package in front of me. "Hold it in your teeth." I did.

Mistress walked off and returned with a wooden chair and sat down. "Put the condom on my cock."

I was getting so prissy by this time and acting so revulsed by the size of the black rubber cock between her legs. I was saying things under my breath like, "It's so huge and black and disgusting."

"Suck it." She pointed at it and ordered calmly.

"Um... but it's so big and black," I protested helplessly.

She grabbed the back of my head by my hair, twisted it, and pushed my face to it. "I said suck it."

I put my hand around the huge phallus and started to lick the head shyly at first. Then within only a short moment, I was bobbing up and down on it.

"That's what I thought. You are a cocksucking slut. You sissies are all alike. Look at you. You love sucking cock." She let me suck and slurp and moan shamelessly on this giant black prick for another minute or so.

"Get up, slut!"

With a sweep, Mistress Jackie grabbed my wrist and had my over her lap before I knew what had happened. I was amazed, even frightened by her strength. When she started spanking me, she almost knocked the wind out of me. Despite the fact that I was being spanked through my dancing tights, it hurt like holy hell!

I was whimpering helplessly like a child. "Ow! Ow! Owww! You're hurting me!" I pouted.

"Oh, shut up! I haven't even begun to hurt you, little missy!"

The Other Mistress must have been within distance. Mistress Jackie stopped the spanking just for a moment to talk to her, "Will you get that handled dildo and bring it here, please? Thank you." She immediately returned to my behind, which was already smarting. Mistress repeatedly told me to stop my whining as she smacked my bottom. By this time, I knew I was going get a lot more than I had bargained for.

Mistress Jackie pushed me to the floor and I started rubbing my bottom. She stood and again directed me to suck her cock. I could hear Kelly chatting and laughing with some people off in the distance.

"Kelly, will you come here for a moment please?" I had the feeling this was not going to go well. Meanwhile, Mistress started fucking my mouth very hard. She was trying to jam this huge, black rubber cock down my throat. It was hurting the roof of my mouth, and it was gagging me. I was trying to push back against her hips, but she was much stronger than me.

I had tears running down my face from gagging. Apparently Kelly had been standing there for some time. Mistress said to her, "Mikel has something to tell you." But she kept fucking my face and said to me, "Don't you?" I nodded. She crammed the dildo hard to the back of my throat. "Don't you?!" I gagged and coughed.

I was still on my knees. Mistress had me turn around. There was sweet little Kelly. Behind her was the Other Mistress with a curious look on her face. "Tell her!" Mistress ordered.

I had tears running from my eyes from the choking. "I uh... the other day... uh... when you came in the store..." Kelly was listening like there was nothing wrong. I continued, "I was in the fitting room... um... and you were out in the store... and I was playing with myself..." Kelly looked confused and looked at Mistress. She filled in the blanks, "He was listening to you talk, prissing in front of the mirror in his little sissy outfits, wanking his little wee-wee, getting off on your voice." Kelly just made a troubled smile. The other Domme glared.

Mistress said, "We're going to need to teach him a lesson for taking advantage of my girls." The other Domme stepped in with a large 12" dildo on a handle, waved a condom in front of me, gave it to me, and said, "You know what to do with this, dontcha bitch? And hurry it up."

While I was unwrapping the condom and putting it on the cock, Mistress Jackie told her, "I want that dick in his mouth while I spank him. He's a whiner, and I don't want to hear it. Then she said to Kelly, "You really don't have to worry about him wanting to fuck you, Kelly. He doesn't have much of a dick to begin with. A little pussy-boy like this, all he'd really want to do is put on your clothes. That's all sissies ever want to do is put on your clothes.

The Other Mistress had put the handled dildo in my mouth, and she added with laugh, "And maybe suck your boyfriend's cock. He obviously likes that."

Kelly chuckled, "Yes, I can see that." This normally bubbly girl was now quite serious and quiet. I felt like I was being chastised by the mother of the family for some great infraction against her daughter.

"Oh, and tell Kelly what you have back here." She was referring to my butt-plug. I closed my eyes and sighed. I mumbled, "I have a butt-plug in my pussy-bottom."

Kelly dropped her head lower to try to hear the sissy kneeling in front of her, "In your... what did you call it?"

"My pussy-bottom..."

"His pussy-bottom," the other domme repeated in a mocking tone and big smile.

Kelly politely covered her mouth as if to either mask her horror or stifle a laugh. She just looked down. I was feeling so small. Here I was totally exposed in front of this very cute young girl as the complete sissy as I am. She knows that I had been playing with myself in the fitting room while listening to her. She's watching me suck on a dildo, and now she knows that I have a plug in my ass. What a fucking loser, she's thinking.

Mistress had me kneel on the chair. Kelly gave me a concerned look and asked me, "So you hide in women's fitting rooms and masturbate?

I started to explain so she didn't think I was a total perv. "I was trying on some leotards in the fitting room, and you came in, and..." The other domme crammed the dildo back in my mouth and mocked my tone of voice, "I was trying on women's clothes and wanking off when you walked in... suck it bitch!"

I was really getting scared how this was going. Mistress Jackie told the other domme, "Keep that in his mouth. He's a whiner, and I don't want to hear it." She started up with the spanking again, and it was every bit as bad as the first. Every time I whimpered, the other domme jammed the dildo harder into my mouth. She would slide it in and out and say, "You want to wear Kelly's clothes and suck her boyfriend's cock don't you, sissy? Don't you?" I would nod, and the spanking would come harder. Mistress would stop and press on my butt-plug causing me to moan out loud, causing the other domme to jam the dildo tighter into my mouth, causing me to gag.

Thankfully, this spanking didn't last too long, but it was utterly humiliating. I was about to start crying. Kelly just stood there, pretty much without emotion.

"Back on your knees." I quickly complied. "You will apologize to Kelly now."

I muttered a soft, "I'm sorry," with a very scorned look on my face.

Mistress got right in my face and over-enunciated, "I'm sorry, Miss Kelly... say it!"

"I'm sorry, Missy Kelly," I repeated humbly.

She continued in a loud voice, "For wanking my little wee-wee in the fitting room while listening to your voice..." she started this litany and I repeated each line.

"I'm just a little sissy faggot wanker..." (I was hearing some laughing in the distance.) I repeated.

"My dick is too small to ever fuck you..." I repeated.

"All I could ever hope to do is put on your clothes and suck off your boyfriend..." I repeated.

"I hope you'll forgive me. I'm so sorry." I repeated and looked at the floor.

Kelly just kinda did a half chuckle/half roll of the eyes and said OK and then turned to Mistress to ask her some question about something she wanted done prior to closing. It was totally business, and I was clearly inconsequential.

The other Domme had already walked off. Kelly walked off to take care of her work. I slumped on the floor on my knees feeling completely belittled. Mistress Jackie snapped her fingers three times. I looked up to see her pointing to the end of her massive black rubber dick. "Right here," she said calmly.

I moaned and mumbled an, "Oh no, please Mistress."

"Oh, you're not done sucking yet, honey," she insisted.

I sighed and took it in my hand and stroked it. The condom was smeared with my lipstick. She pushed my head onto it. I began sucking it with all I had and started moaning. I started to become possessed as Mistress talked to me about how I sucked cock.

"You really do like that, don't you? You wish it was real, don't you? You really do wish you could suck Kelly's boyfriend's dick. Don't you? You wish this was a real cock so I could cum down your throat, don't you?" I nodded an affirmative each time. I kept right on sucking and breathing harder and harder like a wanton cocksucking bitch.

"You wish I could turn you over right here and now and yank down your pretty tights and fuck you right up the ass, don't you? Don't you? Don't you?! Say it!"

"Yes, Mistress! Fuck my ass!" I said.

"Tell me what you want, bitch, I can't hear you!"

"I want you to fuck my pussy-asshole. PLEASE fuck my ass, Mistress! Fuck me the bitch I am!" I yelled.

She fucked my mouth hard and called me a disgusting, cocksucking slut.

Then, she sat down and pulled me up on her lap. This was the grand finale spanking. It was like the end of a fireworks display, and I thought she would never stop. She berated me in the most viscous tone of voice with a non-stop list of humiliating names. Somewhere along the line, between the pain of the spanking and the verbal assault, I started to melt and break down.

"Yeah, let me hear you cry," she said with some degree of pleasure as she continued the spanking. She knew she'd get me to this point. "That's right. Let me hear you cry, little girl."

That was all it took, and I started sobbing. "Yeah. Cry like a little girl!" I collapsed, draped on her lap.

With that, Mistress Jackie just stood up, and I rolled off her lap and fell to the hard floor with a thud. The fall stunned me and then the tears started again. I could hear her walking off in that same march that she came in with some 30 minutes earlier. She had totally broken me, humiliated me, and left me crying on the floor. This session didn't come with a "happy ending" like I had always had with private domme sessions. She had totally head-fucked me and left me in a heap.

I looked around and realized that I was laying there alone. After some time, I managed to get up to sit in the chair. I was shell shocked. I just sat there in my self-pity. A little while later, Kelly came by in her cheerful self as if nothing was wrong. She put a hand on my shoulder and asked me if I wanted something to drink. The gesture caused my face to pout and start up the tears again. I am such a pathetic sissy crybaby. I so wanted her to hold me and hug me. She gave me a bottle of water and told me to just take my time and relax.

The other domme walked by wearing surgical gloves carrying the strapon Mistress had been wearing. This was surreal. It was as if I had gone in for some medical procedure. The surgeon had left the operating room. The assistant was now taking out the primary instrument that had been used in the procedure, and here was a nurse helping me in recovery. I was still feeling the effects of all the emotional and physical pain I had endured.

A few minutes later, my mind started to clear, and I got back up on my feet and made my way to the foyer. Of course, I was still teetering in my heels and the butt plug was reminding me of the glow on my bottom. When I reached the outer area, Mistress was out of character and back to her cheerful self when she first greeted me. "How are you doing?"

"Much better now, Mistress. Thank you." I was very contrite. We had a nice chat.

In a very meek voice, I asked, "Mistress, may I use the restroom to remove the plug from my pussy-bottom?"

In a parental tone of voice, Mistress answered kindly, "No you may not. The plug will have to stay in place until you get home. Okay?"

I "Yes, Mistress," I answered. "Mistress? When I get home, may I please have permission to masturbate my little wee-wee and lick my sissy cum off my dildo?"

Mistress smiled and said, "Yes, you may lick up your sissy cum, but you must not miss any of it. Okay? You have to eat it all up."

I was relieved to hear this. "Oh, thank you Mistress."

I thought of one more thing. "Mistress? May I fantasize about sucking off Kelly's boyfriend while I'm doing this?"

Mistress Jackie raised an eyebrow. "Well, I think you should ask Miss Kelly that first. Kelly?"

Kelly was nearby and came over. Mistress told her I had something to ask her. I was feeling like a complete loser and this would completely confirm it. I almost couldn't get through what I was going to ask her.

I was had my head down in my hand was mumbling like a little girl, and Kelly had to come closer and look at my mouth to understand. "Uhm... Mistress has given me permission... when I get home? masturbate my little wee-wee onto my dildo?... and lick it up?... and I asked her if while I was doing that... if I could fantasize about... uhm... oh god... I'm sorry... I'm embarrassed now... if I could fantasize about... sucking off your boyfriend."

Kelly immediately started to laugh and put her hand over her mouth to avoid being rude. "Are you gay, Mikel?

"No, I'm just a sissy. I fantasize about really beautiful women making me service their boyfriends or husbands," I explained. "I'm sorry if it bothers you."

Kelly answered, "No, I'm just trying to understand. That's fine. You have fun with your fantasy. My boyfriend's name is Paul. You have fun sucking his dick, OK? I'm so glad you made it out here, and I hope you'll come back to see us the next time you're in Florida!"

This time, Kelly held both of my hands, gave me a big smile, and bade me goodbye. No hug this time. Here was this little queer boy wearing a butt-plug, padded bra, thong leotard, tights, heels, and smeared makeup. He was about to go back to his motel room and suck on a big dildo while having a fantasy about blowing her boyfriend while she watches. Then he's going to wank onto the dildo and lick it clean pretending that he's swallowing her boyfriend's load. Okay, buh-bye!

Mistress was very gracious, gave me a hug, and told me I was a good little subbie. "I hope you'll come back next time you're in Florida, hun."

I told her I would. I minced to the door and peeked out. Mistress looked out with me and checked the parking lot. She said she'd watch while I walked to my car. As I often do, I felt so exposed in my little sissy getup with my butt-plug fucking my pussy bottom. I wanted to get back to my motel as soon as possible to play out my little fantasy of sucking off Kelly's boyfriend.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

My Visit To Florida, Part I

I love being out of town because I can go shopping, be a sissy slut in public, and be much more daring than I would normally be near home. Once, I had the occasion to travel to Ft. Lauderdale to attend a surprise birthday party of a friend. I was traveling alone, and of course, I brought lots of sissy clothes and toys.

As soon as I got out of the airport in my rental car, I changed into a pair of suntan pantyhose and some denim short-shorts that crawl way up my sissy bottom. I wore platform sneakers that were still kinda fashionable at the time, a light top with an unpadded underwire bra. There was no mistaking that I was NOT a girl but a sissy boy.

I had several days before the party and had planned to drive to another city to visit an old friend there. So, I could priss along the way. Occasionally, when the situation allowed for it, I would get out of the car so I could be seen and giggled or laughed at. At a shopping mall, I parked and got out of the car and walk toward the entrance as a group of hot girls were walking out. They immediately noticed me but were politely quiet as they passed. Then came the snickers followed by the hysteric laughter. I love that humiliation. I can play the sounds in my mind over and over.

At one point at a gas station, there were no less than six women looking at me simultaneously from different angles. Some were filling up their cars; some were going in or out of the convenience mart. I had added a pair of lace anklets to the outfit to make it even more demonstratively sissy. The reactions filled the air from “oh my god” to giggles to outright laughter coming from several directions. I paid no attention as I was only the mindless priss looking for something in the back seat. But my face was burning red the whole time.

Several times along the way, I got into my thong leotard and tights and looked for opportunities to parade my sissy self to those amused by a pathetic sissy.

While there, I stopped in a local dance shop and had a most interesting experience. It was mid-afternoon on a weekday, and I was the only customer in the store. Normally when I visit a place like this I would call first and ask about trying things on, but since I was out of town and feeling frisky, I decided to just go in. Oh, I was dressed in something a bit more conservative than described above. I was greeted by the clerk. I browsed for awhile, obviously looking at the female leotards, and she said I was welcome to try things on if I needed to.

I found some thong leotards in my size and headed for the fitting room. While in there, I heard the bell on the front door, and it was obvious that a young woman had come in. She was very outgoing and talkative; in fact, she was a regular Chatty Kathy. I was enjoying listening to her while being in my fitting room trying on leotards. I was prissing in front of the mirror and starting to play with myself while I listened to her cute, bubbly voice.

I finally came out and had a chance to check out the customer. She was in her mid-20s, very outgoing, and started to chat me up as I did a little more browsing. I conspicuously placed two leotards on the counter. As the clerk made her way over to help me, the cutie was now curious about what I was buying and asked who I was buying for. I held them up and told her they were a couple leotards for me. She asked if I was a dancer, and I simply replied, "Um, actually, I'm a sissy... and I like to wear girl things." She was interested and amused by this, and she started talking about where she worked which happened to be a BDSM club across town. I couldn't believe my good fortune at hearing this. The clerk was also intrigued, and I asked her what they did there.

She said they got into mild bondage and discipline scenes there. She wasn't a dominatrix but a hostess. She was obviously way too bubbly and nice to be a domme. She said she welcomed people and served drinks and entertained a little. It was a commercial place that did mild scenes and must have just skirted the law. She said that all men were admitted free if they came in drag. I asked her if I could just show up in my sissy attire, namely my leotard, tights and heels. She said certainly, that would be fine. I also asked if I could get a good, sound spanking there. I was starting to get pretty daring in my conversation with this girl, who later told me her name was Kelly.

Kelly told me they did spankings, but they couldn't do it on the bare bottom. The clerk said she thought this was interesting and didn't know this kind of place existed. I told Kelly that I'd had a few private domination sessions in the past and had been humiliated with strapon dildos. She said they couldn't do that. I told her that I'd only been made to suck them. Now I was showing off in front of the clerk, who was being polite but was amazed at the conversation.

I said to the clerk, I'm sorry if this is freaking you out or anything. She said no, it was very interesting; she'd just never really heard of that kind of stuff before. I explained that I had never been to a club of any kind before but had only been to private sessions with a Dominatrix involving crossdressing, spanking, and humiliation with a strap-on. I really wanted to tell them about how I would lick my cum off the dildo, but I figured I was pushing it.

Kelly gave me some details about the club. It was a place where people could come in and do their own scenes. There are a couple Mistresses available to get into scenes. There were limits on what can be done. She gave me the location said they were open on Friday and Saturday nights. I would have time Friday, so I told her I was looking forward to a visit and a good, hard spanking!

To be continued...

Monday, June 9, 2008

The end of a relationship

Carla was a wonderful girl. She was a loving, giving person. Sexually, she was the most open-minded woman I've ever been with, but unfortunately she had baggage... Major baggage that I can't go into here, but let's just suffice it to say that it was bringing the relationship to a screeching halt. We really did love each other, but her low self-esteem (and I thought mine was bad!) was creating intolerable problems for us both.

In the bedroom, we likely would have progressed to her wearing a real strapon. I know she was up for that. And maybe we could have moved to her playing a little light domination. She was a little sensitive about being called a "whore" when passion was getting high and language was getting nasty, and believe me she could embarrass a sailor through gritted teeth as she ground and humped and fucked back. Calling her "my whore" was OK, but not otherwise. During one of our last escapades, I took a dildo and placed it between her legs and told her I wanted to be "her whore" and began to suck it. With a bit of a knowing smile, she put her hand on the back of my head and pushed me up and down on the cock for awhile. That particular scene didn't last long that night. I was hoping we could take it to having me lick cum off the dildo.

I'm pretty sure we could have gone there, but it ended soon afterwards.

Damn. All of the other components were in place. I was wearing lingerie in her presence full time. If I ever wore men's underwear, she would ask me if something was wrong. She had me eating cum. She was fucking my ass. Sucking cock should have been next. I was hoping I could have moved her along to dominating me with all the trimmings of humiliation.

That's really what I craved. I wanted so much to have her to stand over me in black stilettos wearing a 10" strapon, pointing to it, and telling me to suck it like the little sissy bitch that I am. I wanted her to make me wank off and make me lick my cum off her big cock while she called me a cum-eating cock sucking whore. I needed that so bad.

It just wasn't to be. We were on again, off again, off forever. Time to move on.

JamieLin, where are you??

JamieLin, I sure wish you'd put your blog back up. I was inspired by your writing. I wish you'd come back.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Carla Takes Me

This is the closest Carla came to dominating me. She knew I loved to be stimulated anally. Being a lover of anal sex herself, she knew well the delightful feeling of being penetrated “back there.” There were many times while blowing me when she would finger fuck me into a crazed orgasm. I often brought over a number of favorite toys for our weekends together which included a medium sized butt plug. She knew well the affect it had on me. By this time, I had not yet purchased a strapon, but I had talked about them, and I think Carla would have been open to using one on me. We broke up before we ever got to trying that.

However, one night Carla lubed up the butt plug and I smiled and rolled over to have her put it in my bottom. Usually, it was put in and stayed in while we played and fucked. But this night she gave me a lot more than I expected. I could sense Carla was positioning herself behind me, and I turned back to see her holding the plug against her pubis and getting ready to mount me! She had a wicked grin on her face. I let out a stunned, “oh my god!” as the cold KY slathered up and down my crack. Then gently, she pushed the plug in about halfway, pulled it out most of the way, and then buried it as she lay on top of me.

I whimpered a breathy “oh!” as I felt like an innocent girl being taken for the first time. Carla slowly pulled the plug back out and thrust it back in again. After about a half dozen strokes, I thought we might move on to some other mutually satisfying activities. With a smile, I started to turn around and roll over. Carla had a determined look on her face, and not so gently pushed my shoulder back around and pushed my face into the pillow. She pumped faster as I moaned out loud into the bedding.

She got my ass up higher so she could get a better stroke. She was very lean and strong. I was amazed by her persistence in doing this all while holding the base of the plug firmly against her pubes while she fucked me like a man would. Several times she grabbed me with both hand by the hips and just slammed against me, slapping her pelvis against the plug, driving against it every time. I was whimpering and nearly crying by this time, but she was relentless as if it was her cock, and I wasn’t going to deny her getting off.

Several times she would tease me with a reach-around, and stroked me with one hand as she butt fucked me with the other. There was some lingerie on the bed, and she took a pair of panties and stroked me with them. Knowing I was getting close to the edge, she pushed me back down with a half-slip and several pair of panties between my dick and the bed. She fucked me and giggled as I humped the lingerie. As I moved, I was also fucking myself against her.

Between the silky lingerie rubbing my cock and the mixture of pain and pleasure in my ass, I was in a frenzy. Carla whispered for me to let go. I felt like a virgin bride at the hands of her husband on her wedding night being urged to let go as he fucked her. I came like a bitch, I squealed, I screamed, I whimpered, and Carla kept right on fucking me. I thought she wasn’t going to stop, and I was about to beg her to because it was starting to hurt. Finally, she collapsed on top of me while I laid there with a plug in my pussy-bottom and a huge wet spot in the lingerie under me.

After some time, Carla started to kiss the back of my neck and tell me how good I was. I felt like I was just taken like a girl. After we rolled over, she put the covers over me, and she held me in her arms. I felt safe and protected.

Monday, February 25, 2008

House Dressing

One evening on the way over to Carla’s apartment, I picked up a couple of salads from Wendy’s. There was a promising night ahead. When I got there, I was already turned on, and as she got our dinner out of the bags, Carla wanted a panty report. That is, she wanted to see what panties I had worn for her that night. I was only too happy to oblige, and quickly got my pants off so I could model my panties for her. Of course, she approved with a few gropes here and there, which only served to get me all the more turned on. She even got me out for a few strokes to tease me for what was ahead after dinner.

She had put the salads into some bowls of her own, and we were going to dine on her couch. Feeling frisky, I was stroking myself and jokingly asked if she would like the “house dressing.” She replied, “Well, of course!” and her wicked smile. I acted like I was going to jerk off into her salad, but of course I was only acting. She continued to hold out her bowl.

I started to sit down. “I’m waiting for the ‘house dressing,’” she said coyly.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“Well, you offered the house dressing, and I accepted. Now, when do I get the house dressing, waiter?”

Shit, she was fucking serious! I stood back up while she held out her bowl. She had a grin with raised eyebrows. She started a little role-play like I was the waiter in a restaurant.

“You know, I’ve heard the ‘house’ is really good… very creamy and warm… just the way I like it. I hope you’ll give me a little extra on my salad.” She started to play with my balls. “Can I pump it for awhile?”

“Yes, of fuck!” My panties were down to my thighs as Carla pumped my cock with an innocent look on her face. She continued to make her little teasing double entendre remarks in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. I took over and started to jack it faster.

“Is that dressing ready for my salad yet? I’m getting hungry!” She acted like she was getting impatient.

I started to moan and scream. She held the bowl in place to be sure she caught it just right. As I started to shoot, she rotated the bowl to get coverage of the salad with the house dressing. I couldn’t believe I was cumming on her salad.

“That looks yummy!” she said with wide eyes as she licked her lips. Another spasm of cum shot out on top of the lettuce leaves. She continued to rotate the bowl to try to catch the jizz dressing on more of the lettuce. I moaned again as she giggled. Unbelievable!

I collapsed on the couch next to her as she laughed and thanked her waiter for delivering a nice amount of the ‘house.’ She promised a nice tip for me later. Next was a mind fuck the likes of which I’ve never experienced before or since.

Slowly, Carla took her fork and selected a few leaves of cum-soaked lettuce and ate it. I was stunned that she’d actually do it. I mean, first of all, it was now cold. And secondly, it wasn’t like it was on me or something. She was just eating salad with jizz on it.

“Mmmmm…. this is very good dressing,” she reported. She took another forkful as I watched in stunned amazement. Then, by about the fourth forkful, she carefully dipped leaves into the puddles of cum still in the bowl and then held it up to my mouth to feed me. Inside, I thought ‘I can’t possibly do this,’ but Carla had this way of just doing things with full expectation that I would participate, and I would. I ate the cold salad with the cold cum dressing. Truthfully, it wasn’t really as bad as I thought it would be since the lettuce was nice and fresh. The water content diluted the taste of the cum.

She then prepared another fork-full for herself and ate it. Again it was my turn, and I obliged as she fed me. We giggled like two girls wearing our panties eating on her couch. But this was just another lesson in sissy cum eating. Carla had no shame when it came to sex, and from that shamelessness, she was teaching me to enjoy eating cum the way she loved it.

There were many shared cum eating episodes to follow. Almost every blowjob was snowballed. She might give me a handjob in the car and then lick her fingers and offer some of it to me so I could help her lick her fingers clean. She liked me giving her a "facial" so that afterward I could lick it off her face and we could share it in our kisses. In the end, Carla taught me to be a cumslut.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Carla's First Lesson

Wearing panties every time we were together was by now typical and soon progressed to my wearing pantyhose, which she just LOVED. I wondered just how far I could go with this. Could I get it to the point I was with Terri of years gone by? Could we play dress up together and wear bras and everything? Short answer: mostly yes, all in due time. More about that later.

As I mentioned in my previous post, Carla's lessons were in the form of learning acceptance. One of those lessons came in a most unexpected way. First a little background. This girl could suck cock 'til the cows came home. She was never slutty. She never acted slutty or talked dirty. It's hard to explain, but she was the only woman I've ever known who could look demure with a dick in her mouth. And, OMG, she could deep throat! I've never experienced that before or since. At first it was scary! I thought she was going to swallow my cock and consume it. She always swallowed my cum and was certain to get every last drop by stoking it in her mouth until my balls were drained and I went limp from the pain.

But this lesson is really about cum. Cum. Cum everything. Cum all over your face. Cum in your mouth. Cum down your throat. Hers... and mine. You see, while some guys are totally turned off by a woman kissing them after given them a blowjob, I've always thought it was particularly sexy to french kiss a woman after she had swallowed my load and I could taste the remnants of it. I wanted Carla to know how evolved I was by letting her know that I thought the taste of cum was sexy. I even licked it off her breast after cumming on her chest one time.


Once after giving me a particularly ball-draining blowjob one night, Carla gave me a VERY big surprise. She had sucked me completely dry to the point where I thought I might not ever cum again! I was lying there in an exhausted heap, and she returned quietly to my side and snuggled me for a moment while I caught my breath. Several minutes had passed before I started to show interest in her again and started kissing her. She slowly moved to gently kiss my lips, then moved above me. Eventually as her tongue met mine, an avalanche of warm cum began draining into my mouth as she continued a most passionate kiss. It was intoxicating. Her mouth was now sealed over mine to prevent any loss of the jizz as she stirred it in my mouth with her tongue.

There was no choice here: she was on top, and this load was mine to swallow. She had patiently saved it and brought it back to me as a gift. This kiss lasted for at least ten minutes while she silently demonstrated to me what an erotic woman does with a mouthful of her man's orgasm. It wasn't until all of it was extracted from her mouth and she was sure I had swallowed every last drop that she removed her mouth from mine and returned to my side without a word. I was speechless.

I had eaten my cum before, but this was the first time I had really experienced it, really savored it in my mouth. She had just shared with me a very intimate experience that is one normally only a woman could have. Carla gave me that experience--without any shame or guilt--as a gift.

Friday, February 1, 2008


Carla was the all-time kinkiest woman I've ever dated. She seemed to have no shame at all. We became emotionally and sexually involved on our first date. I spent the night on Friday, and we fucked our way well into Saturday. After showering, I was going to run home, get some fresh clothes and return. I thought I'd test her a little by pointing out that I didn't have any clean underwear.

This is a little game I've played with girlfriends to see if they'd offer something of theirs. It had never worked in the past.

"Well, just don't wear

any," she said with a wicked smile.

"That always feels so yucky," I whined. I'd hoped she'd come up with a helpful suggestion. She did.

She smiled coyly. "Would you like to borrow some of mine?"

I blushed and stammered. I'm such a good actor. I let her talk me into it. As she pulled opened her panty drawer, I gasped at all the sexy and silky panties she had. "You have some naughty little things here..."

She pulled out one of the more daring pairs and held them up. I protested in feigned embarrassment that I couldn't wear something like that. But I had to be careful; I didn't want her to pull out some boring cotton ones.

"Well," I said with a smile, "since you're lending me your panties, I should let you choose the ones you'd like me to wear."

Carla was like a kid in a candy store considering so many different styles to find the right one that she was going to have my wear home. As she would hold up the smaller bikinis, I would remind her that I needed some room to accommodate my equipment.

After considering at least a dozen pairs and being taken on a very nice tour of her lingerie drawer, she finally displayed a pair of silky white bikini panties with a sheer lace front inset. She held them open near the floor so I could step into them, and my dick started throbbing. As she started to bring the panties up my legs, Carla took notice of my condition which was now right in her face. She smiled approvingly, and said, "Well, are we getting a little turned on here?"

She was teasing the shit of me and loving it. Once she had pulled the panties up to the top of my thighs, she acted as if she didn't know how she would get them over my dick sticking straight out. She looked quizzically at the situation and said in a dumb voice, "Hmmm.... well maybe they won't fit after all."

"You might have to make things fit!" I suggested.

"O-o-o-o-hhhhh," she said, and then giggled.

Then she softly handled my dick in such a way as to be stroking it as she made various attempts and re-attempts to put it in the panties. The moving and stroking caused me noticeable frustration which I voiced.

"Well I'm sorry," she said in a mock apologetic tone, "I'm just trying to get everything to fit right."

"You're only making matters worse!" I countered.

"Yes, I can see that," she gleamed.

After all this fussing, she finally had me turn around so she could admire the fit. She was enjoying the view. "I love it!"

I thought I was in heaven. Here was this incredibly sexy woman who had just put me in her panties, and she was enjoying this! Could I tell her that I have my own collection at home?

I drove home with a raging hardon wearing these lacy underthings, debating all the while if I should wear them on my return. I decided I should act "normal" and return wearing men's underwear and politely thank her for the loan but also let her know that I really did have fun wearing them.

On my return, she was actually disappointed that I wasn't wearing her panties. I told her I'd be glad to wear them again. Before the weekend was over, we did have another experimentation session with some other pairs of Carla's panties. I knew this was going to be a fun ride.

I brought up the subject of panties a couple times again when we talked on the phone. This was still almost too much for me to believe. She really liked seeing me in panties! It was the subject of some coy conversation, and I hinted at the idea of wearing something "for her" upon my return.

When I returned, I was in fact wearing a pair of my own lace trimmed panties. I was really nervous about it. This would be a revealing moment as she would know that I had my own. Then again, I figured if things went terribly wrong, I could also make a joke of it and tell her that I bought a single pair as a joke just to play with her head.

After I had been there for awhile, I told her I had a surprise for her and hinted where the surprise might be. Once she took the clue, she put her hand down my pants, she smiled and said, "Well, we know what they are, but we need to find out what color they are."

Before long, she was giving me more of her panties on permanent loan and buying me frilly, lacy, bikini panties with the expectation that I would wear them for her on dates and, more importantly, in bed. She knew how much they turned me on, and she reaped the benefits thereof.

Carla seemed to have no inhibitions whatsoever about most anything concerning sex. It was only my inhibitions and fears that kept me from fully revealing myself to her.

Now you're probably thinking this was too good to be true. It only lasted less than a year for reasons that I will soon reveal to you, but in that year, Carla taught me a lot about self-acceptance.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Leotards and Tights

One of my favorite sissy outfits at home has always been leotards and tights. I would dress up in my favorite outfits consisting of shiny black tights, a bright colored thong leotard over a padded bra, and high heels. It was a very sissy-slut look!

I started a late night ritual of going out wearing my dancewear under regular shirt, pants and shoes. In the car, I'd take off my pants, unbutton my shirt and put on my slutty pumps. Then I'd have fun just driving around in my ultra-slut outfit. When I was sure I wasn't going to be noticed, I would take off my shirt and drive in just the leotard and tights with my ample, shapely breasts jutting out on either side of the seat belt. With my dick tucked tightly inside my tights and leotard, I would rub my crotch for hours as I drove around feeling like a naughty dancer girl. Sometimes I would have a butt plug inserted, making the ride all the more erotic.

My self-daring brought me to drive past night clubs where I knew really hot and often drunk girls would be coming or going. I would time things so that I would be out of my car, totally exposed in my sissiness in front of a group of hysterically laughing women. Feigning embarrassment as they saw me, I would try to cover my boobs, turn and walk the other way. This only served to entertain them all the more as they caught sight of my thong bottom in shiny black nylon. Embarrassed and humiliated, I would run off awkwardly, teetering in my 3" heels. One girl ran after me so she could pinch my nylon covered bottom. Another wanted to squeeze my padded boobs. It was a classic case of reverse sexual harrassment.

This little scenario was met with dozens of appreciative audiences of women of various ages. Sometimes these women would start up conversations with me. Frequently they would compliment me on my legs and ass, and sometimes they'd ask me why I was so attired. I would usually tell them that I lost a bet and my girlfriend was making me do it, or I would simply tell them the truth that I'm a sissy. On a few occasions, the girls would feel me up for laughs. The giggling and laughing was positively addictive.

One girl put her hands on her hips, and with a look of contempt asked, "Are you looking for a man to fuck you?" Some of the things are still burning in my ears.

My craving for this humiliation caused me to become more daring. Sometimes I'd go for the jazzercize look and instead of wearing the bra and heels, I'd just wear sneakers. I made an unlikely looking male candidate for an aerobics class. Only a sissy would wear a leotard and tights!

I had a lot of fun trying on leotards in dance shops, too. Most places were friendly to male clientele, and I was permitted to try on all varieties of feminine dancewear in the stores. Some of the clerks couldn't believe I really wanted to try on thong leotards.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Women's Jeans in Public

I just had this thing for Chic jeans. They were the hot pair at the time, and I ALWAYS noticed whenever a woman wore them. The logo stiched in the back, the inverted curve in the pockets that came to a point. There was also this little reinforced stitch at the bottom of the fly that was unique to the brand. I could tell from any angle that a woman was wearing them. Terri wore them and looked hot in them, and I had always wanted a pair.

After we split up, I bought a pair and strutted around my apartment in them, checking out my ass in the mirror. I had a way of pulling up my pantyhose that gave me this sexy, feminine ass that looked really hot in Chic jeans. It was a long time before I finally worked up the nerve to wear them in public.

I was empowered one day when I saw this guy in a public building near where I worked. He was with his girlfriend, and he was wearing Chic jeans! I was stunned. I followed them for awhile. Did he know he was wearing girls' jeans? Was he wearing her jeans or were his own? I had to do this, too!

When I finally did, I wore them with a jacket or sweater over the logo. When I would let the logo show, I was making the message clear: "I'm wearing girls jeans!" I had a bit of control that way. Even though the pocket came to a point, from a distance, nothing really looked out of the ordinary. Then, if I wanted to dare expose the fact that I was wearing feminine jeans, I could let the jacket ride up and they could easily see that yellow stitched logo that sometimes literally had young women in stitches.

At first I wore them with my regular shoes because that's all I had other than high heels. I'd go to the mall and pick out a couple really hot girls, get myself in front of them, and let the jacket ride up. Sometimes there would be no reaction, but sometimes I could hear the giggling and the outright laughing when they would realize what I was wearing. The comments like, "Check this out," or "Oh my God! That guy's wearing Chic jeans!" would make it even more of a thrill.

Once, two girls followed me around a mall for about twenty mintues while they snickered and whispered to each other. My face was burning in humiliation.

I still have about five pair of Chic jeans. They're so comfortable. There was a point where I started wearing them pretty regularly.

But sometimes for the time spent, the reactions were just few and far between.

Now, if a guy is wearing back-zip jeans, there is absolutely no mistake.

I'd wear pants like these out in public and if a group of girls saw me, there was almost always a guaranteed reaction. Tight in the front with dicklet tucked away, no pockets, zipper in the back. They'd get hysterical!! (I didn't have a chain like in this picture)

Sometimes young girls in groups could be almost vicious dealing with a little sissy boy. Some of the remarks were priceless. "Look at this fag!" "He's got a girl's ass!" "Ohmigod, is that like an open invitation?!!"

Shopping excursions in my sissy jeans were were almost always humiliating.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Deeper Needs

Terri was always understanding and supportive of my desires to wear lingerie. Every morning as we dressed for work, we’d put on our pantyhose together. We’d wear each other’s things. There was one shared panty drawer. She was fine with me wearing lingerie while we had sex. We engaged in many fantasies involving me putting on women’s underwear.

An example was her as the clerk in a lingerie store helping me try on bras and panties in the fitting room. At first, she's a bit put off by having a man trying on the delicates, but she's trying to be professional. The fit of the panties wasn’t quite right, and she dutifully fellated me to get my erection to go down. All in the interest of a proper fit, you understand.

Still my need for humiliation involved fantasies such as getting caught trying on panties and being punished for the act by being forced to put on a bra and pantyhose and heels; then being butt-plugged and made to suck a dildo while being verbally degraded. It’s that whole shame thing. Terri was a good actress, but she was never going to be a dominatrix, even a soft one.

At the same time, her needs weren’t being met by a sissy who was a lousy fuck. Most of us are, after all. Let’s face it: while real men are focusing on the feel of pussy and making a woman feel good, we’re busy fantasizing about bras and panties and hose (oh my!). We can’t get it up if we’re not fantasizing or engaging in sissy behavior. That’s the plight of sissies.

So over time, she started to look elsewhere for real sex, and as I look back, I can’t blame her. She would be out late with some lame excuse while I was home dressing up and jacking off.

We had discussed the possibility of a three-way, and she was open to the possibility. I had confessed to her that I wanted to suck cock, and that didn’t bother her. I hadn’t told her that I had done it once before we met. What a wonderful memory that was.

In a crazy moment five years earlier, I picked up two women in a bar. I knew one of them was a very passable transvestite. I was pretty drunk. I invited them to my apartment, and we started having some fun. The TV was just beautiful with long, slender, pantyhose covered legs.

I showed them that I was wearing pantyhose and a bra. The TV and I started feeling each other up. The woman sat on the bed while I knelt in front of the TV. I felt up her legs and pantyhose and started to rub her crotch.

The woman said, "I think he wants what you have up there." She pulled down her pantyhose and panties and revealed a beautiful 8" cock. Now this was a dick any woman would enjoy pleasuring. I was delighted to hold it and stroke it, and in short order, I put it in my mouth. It was wonderful feeling it slide in and out of my mouth while hearing his feminine voice moan. Before long, I was sucking cock like a whore, my head bobbing up and down while I kept a good grip on the shaft stroking it. I was making shameless slurping noises. What a sissy cocksucker!! He didn't cum, but I wanted him to. I felt wonderfully feminine and submissive doing this as the woman looked on. She didn't really humiliate me, but she was encouraging and saying things like, "That's right, suck that big cock!"

I never sucked another real one, but ever since then I've enjoyed the sensation of my lips wrapped around a dildo and my tongue licking its head especially at the command of a dominant woman. Of course, it's also a lot safer than the real thing. There's just something absolutely overpowering about a woman holding a huge dildo between her legs ordering me to suck her cock for her amusement.

I can understand how women can sometimes achieve orgasm from giving head. At times I’ve worked myself into such a frenzy that I’ve gotten lost into a pseudo-orgasm of my own. Eating cum is particularly emasculating. It’s something I often find difficult to do on my own unless a woman is ordering to do it. Girls laughing at me while I'm licking it up makes it especially humiliating and erotic.

Oh... I’ve digressed, haven’t I? Like I said, Terri never knew about my cocksucking experience, and we never had that three-way. I couldn’t handle the fact that she was sleeping with another guy.

Today, I have cuckold fantasies. I wonder now what it would have been like if I could have stayed on as her sissy maid. Maybe she could have talked her lover into letting me suck his cock while she looked on. Then they could have ordered me into the corner to sit quietly while he fucked her good, they way she really needed it. He could show me how it's done. Then while I’d sit there in jaw-dropped awe while she screamed in ecstasy, at least I’d have the pleasure of knowing that the dick that was giving her such a noisy orgasm, I got hard for her with my own sissy mouth.

So Terri and I split up. It was mostly amicable, although we argued over some clothes. “No, those were my panties!”

Only a sissy boy would argue over a pair of panties.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Halloween and Busted

Terri and I were friends with Frank, the guy I worked with, and his wife Marti. I was always joking about crossdressing or wearing pantyhose or being gay, talking with a lisp trying to be funny, more as a macho cover-up for my real feelings. Marti always had a sly smile about that like she seemed to know the real truth about me.

One year for Halloween, Frank and Marti invited us over to their place to watch a movie. We agreed to wear costumes. Terri and I decided to go as each other. Actually, I convinced Terri that it would be a good idea. The night before, I put on my bra, pantyhose and a girdle, and she picked out a skirt and blouse that would work for me. We were pretty close in size as I’ve always been very small and could fit into most of her size 13 clothes.

Terri put on a pair of my pants and a shirt. That was the easy part.

I didn’t shave my legs then but instead wore dark hose, typical of what Terri would wear. My failing in being true to her form was the bra. While we wore approximately the same bra size, I wore a Bali full-figured model with three snaps, one that she wouldn’t likely wear. Terri had given me a gauzy peach colored blouse of hers, and the bra was slightly visible through the fabric. I rather liked that it was evident I was wearing “the whole bit.”

The hair was pretty easy. Both of us had about the same length, and all we had to do was arrange it a little differently. Of course, she had to do my make-up. I brought along some regular clothes so that I could feign discomfort and change into them while we watched the movie.

When we arrived at their place, there was the predictable reaction of laughter when they saw that we had dressed as each other. Frank came over to me and pretended to hit on me as Terri. Almost immediately Marti started in on me with that knowing look making comments about what I was wearing.

“Quite a thrill, isn’t it?” she asked me.

I tried to pretend to be awkward with how everything felt. I said something like pantyhose weren’t such a thrill after all the joking I had done about it, or something lame like that.

Then she said, “Are you wearing your girdle?” I will never forget the tone of voice. It was almost in mock excitement, like she knew I was using the opportunity as an excuse to put on all my girlie things and get away with it, only she knew perfectly well the real truth.

For a brief moment, I was speechless. How would she know that? Many women wore panty briefs over their pantyhose as did Terri and probably Marti, but why would she guess that I was wearing one, and why did she say “your girdle?” She fucking knew!

In fake naiveté, I stammered out that it was some kind of stretchy thing Terri gave me to hold up my pantyhose. Terri really wasn't helping much.

“Something from your collection?” Marti asked sweetly. Clearly she wasn’t buying it. She was reading my mail, and I was getting very nervous. My arms had been crossed in front of my stuffed bra, and I moved my hands in front of my flattened tummy.

Still sizing me up, Marti then checked out my bra through the gauzy blouse. “And what a pretty bra,” she cooed.

I should have just said, “Why thank you.” But I mumbled something about it being Terri’s.

Immediately Marti shook her head with a smug smile, “No it’s not.”

“Yes it is,” I insisted.

“No, it’s not,” she came back immediately; “She wouldn’t wear one like that. It’s too big.”

I tried to explain that it was one from when she was heavier. But Marti knew that even when Terri was heavier, she wouldn’t wear a three-snap bra like I was wearing. She had me, and she knew it.

Somehow we got off the subject, and we went on with the night. Later I told Terri I wanted to get my clothes out the car so I could change out of my costume. Terri said, “Oh just leave it on.” Marti jumped in with, “Yeah, you’re having so much fun! Or is your girdle too tight?”

I kept quiet about it the rest of the night. The ribbing died down for the most part, and we had fun the rest of the evening watching the movie. As we left for the night and said our goodbyes, I thought I could make a desperate attempt to save myself by saying that I couldn’t wait to go home and get all this stuff off (as if I didn’t like it).

Marti smiled and said in a sexy voice, “Yeah, you can go home and slip into something more comfortable.” She had that knowing look on her face again. I felt so busted again. Of course, I was going to go home and put on my nightie. I blushed.

Well, I had hoped this would all die down and go away. About a week later though, Marti came into our office. Frank and I worked together alone in the same room. Marti announced, “I’m conducting a survey on men’s sock lengths. She immediately went over to Frank, went down on one knee and examined how high his socks were. “Frank, you’re about a mid-calf.”

She immediately turned around to me and said, “Let me check yours now.” I was busted again!! Of course, I was wearing pantyhose as I did almost daily and as I often joked about. This was nothing but a deliberate attempt to expose me as the sissy that I am. She knew that if I was wearing pantyhose, I wouldn’t be able to participate in her little “survey.” I was totally fucked!

I just said, “I’m wearing mid-calf.” She pressed that she needed to check them herself. I acted shy and said something like, “I can’t allow a married woman to feel me up.” It was pretty lame. She knew it. I knew it. She knew I was wearing pantyhose. She had just confirmed that Halloween was not a one time thing but that I was indeed a sissy crossdresser and just needed the excuse to put on girlie clothes.

She just smiled that knowing smile.

I was totally humiliated.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Terri and The Lady at The Department Store

I had a girlfriend named Terri who was surprisingly accepting of my crossdressing. The first night we got it on, I somehow worked up the nerve to tell her about it, and she let me wear her pantyhose the next day. We had a two year live-in relationship. While she accepted anything to do with my wearing lingerie, she didn't want me in drag which was fine by me.

Our little secret was to stay under my clothes or in the bedroom, and we had a lot of fun with it. I wore panties and pantyhose every day with her approval. I would wear bras around the house and in the bedroom. I would sleep in a silky nightie. We would share sexy lingerie. She would often borrow some of my things.

While I tried to lead her into it, Terri could never get into the humiliation component I craved. This was even before the cum eating and anal phases that I eventually evolved into, but I still had this part of me that needed exposure. Once at a party while drunk, I told a woman that I wear panties. When she went off to Terri for confirmation, she was quite nonchalant about it and explained that she washed my panties in the sink with hers.

Terri was willing to take me shopping for lingerie at Frederick’s on a few occasions. She knew that I loved embarrassment, but she didn’t want to be embarrassed herself, so she had limits.

Every once in awhile, she would surprise me. Once we were shopping at a department store and passing through the menswear section. There was a bin display of men's nylon bikini underwear. This style was very similar to a plain bikini panty. Now, this was somewhat advanced for the time as there wasn't much available for men other than the typical boring cotton briefs or boxers. We stopped and noted the style and make of the bikini. She teased me that I'd still rather wear ladies panties. "Of course," I replied with a sly smile.

About that time, another woman happened by and noticed the display with a raised eyebrow. She made a remark about the style and the fact that they were made of nylon, and I said that I thought nylon was much more comfortable than cotton. Then she said to me, "Really? But these aren't much different than women's, are they?" Terri replied, "No they're not, really, and they're much more expensive than women’s." The woman agreed. Terri went on, "That's why I just buy him ladies'…"

There was an uncomfortable pause as we both looked at her with shock.

"You buy him ladies panties?" she asked. I looked at the floor and said under my breath, "I can't believe you're telling her this."

Terri was completely matter-of-fact. "Sure, he likes the feel of nylon. And there are many more styles and colors to choose from. And he actually looks pretty cute in some of them." She giggled. I crossed my arms and scratched my forehead. With wide eyes of disbelief, the woman said, "Well I might get a pair of these for my husband to try, but I don't think I'd ever get him into panties. That’s for sure!"

That sent a wave of humiliation through me. Her man wouldn't wear panties. A real man wouldn't wear panties.

They were finishing the conversation, and my face was red hot by then. I said to Terri in an incredulous tone, "Oh great, just tell her I'm wearing women's underwear!"

She giggled, and said, "Well, you are! Maybe you’d like to tell her about your pantyhose!"

I sighed out loud in desperation. The woman laughed as I pushed Terri down the aisle. I was embarrassed, red faced, and totally turned on. I couldn't believe her guts to expose me to this perfect stranger and tell her that I wear panties. I was completely befuddled the rest of the afternoon.

Situations like this were rare, but I’ll remember the embarrassment forever.